Another Sunday and aaaarggh - another family gathering. Barring white lace shirt wearing boys, my only source of laughs was my cousin the neurosurgeon. Not just cuz he’s funny, but also because he’s the only one who laughs at the ditto marks I make with my fingers when I say I eat to fill a “Void”. Anyway, most of the other cousins are scattered around the globe L or married. So I was cracking jokes a mentally deranged child would dismiss as lacking ingenuity and I realized that I probably had to talk more technically since everyone out there was talking about strokes Vs heart attacks and I thought I should ask him something intelligent.. Knowledge scan… what do I know.. hmm.. brain drain – no no.. that’s not connected I think.. ok ok.. old joke – “what’s a good cure for water in the brain?” “A tap on the head.” Note to self : YUCK >:p. hmm.. better jokes in CnH.. CnH.. now that rings a bell…Hah!

 

“What’s a lobotomy?” I finally asked..

“A lobotomy is just an incision in one of the lobes of the brain.. A lobectomy – now that’s when you remove a complete lobe..”

“You mean parts of the brain are actually dispensable?? :O” I asked in horror knowing fully well all of mine was.

“Sure” He said, “Especially the right.”

“Isn’t that the creative subconscious half?” I asked.

“Absolutely.”

 

Inferences (Disclaimer: :p):

1. Creativity is fictitious.
2. When my other cousin made a pun on the book – The Silva method of mind control – getting help from the other side :D, he was right!
3. Evolution may actually do away with it.. backtracking on this line makes you kinda believe magic and hypnosis may have actually been possible – before we evolved!
4. People walking out of hospitals after having a lobectomy must feel extremely light headed and leftist in their views.

 

 

That’s what I saw on a T-shirt when Smi and I went shopping for Ranju’s wedding gift.. Yesterday, we had a get-together in honour of Ranju – The one in our group to beat the rest of us in the race to the alter.. (I strongly suspect I’m headed towards the start line and not the finish., Good lord! Lemmie not digress)..

So yesterday, we got a glimpse of transition.. two of them were already talking about attes and the works, while the silly girlie giggles still filled the air. All those times we laughed at the lamest things till our stomachs hurt – I hope that never ends.. but I think I have news for me .. I remember on the way back from our Coorg trip, we’d somehow gotten hold of this magazine that had a quiz titled “Do you have the star power?” which had a bunch of questions like “Do vehicles come to a screeching halt when you try to cross the road?” a. Sometimes b. Always c. Never - and unfortunately, every zebra crossing thereafter found us testing our ‘c’ skills.. Anyway, in our minds, we always will be *stars*.

 

1. They say nothing succeeds like success and failure is the stepping stone to success.. So either way you succeed – and somehow that seems to me a farce.
2. I have for ever dissented kiss-ups and have always believed in the virtues of honesty and integrity and this* happensL.
3. Life hits me hard in my face in so many ways and I want to cry real bad.. but at the same time, I’m the happiest person in the world because my niece was born on Monday!... I know this is not a good welcome speech, but she’s never gonna read it. Anyway, WELCOME SHARADA!!!! J

*In retrospect, I think it would possibly be wiser to celebrate the living.. I just remembered my cousin in the army who embodies these qualities and about the times he told me he’d heard of his own death being broadcast on the radio in Poonch..But that didn’t deter him and he is alive (touch wood) and making that difference.. So maybe it is wrong to let one incident change your beliefs.

 

I feel I’m being overtly rhetorical and so, I’ve decided to keep mum… well, I decided to keep dad as well.. Besides, Deve Gowda is beginning to get on my nerves big time.. He’s such a pro at being a con.. So here’s some distraction.. uncut and 100% copy paste from an old forward.. There’s a severe dearth of originality here.. so till I come up with my own spy vs spy strip or something, toodle doo and pip pip.  (My apologies to the non Kannada speakers) Disclaimer: Haven’t read the entire thing myself!

 

English Band	Karnataka Version	Complexity
ACDC	CurrentuByattree	High
All Saints	Yella Saadhugale	Low
Audio Slave	Dhvani Gulaama	Low
BabyFace	MaguMaka	Low
Back Street Boys	Hind beedhi huduguru	Low
Bad Boys Blue	Neeli Poli huduguru	Medium
Bad Company	Kettu Kharkane	Medium
Baker Street	Iyengar Raste	High
Bananarama	Devuru Baalehannu	Killer
Billy Idol	Bekkina Vigraha	High
Black crowes	Kappu Kaagigalu	Low
Black Sabbath	Kari Sabbakki bathu	High
Blind Melon	Kurudu Kalangri	High
Chemical Brothers	Rasayane sodharegalu	High
ColdPlay	ChaliAta	Low
Collective Soul	Atma Chow Chow	High
Color me badd	Kettudage banna haki	High
counting Crows	Enuso kaagigalu	Low
Creed	Vichara	High
Culture Club	Samskaradha Ispet Kendra	Killer
Cutting Crew	Hajam Nan makalu	High
Deep Blue Something	Aallla Neeli eno	High
Def Leopard	Kivdu Chirute	Low
Dire Straits	Sakkath Ayomaya	High
Duran Duran	Maadu Ood-dha Maadu Ood-dha	High
Everything but the Girl	Figar bittu bere yalla	Medium
Faith Hill	Nambike Betta	Medium
Faster Pussycat	Bega bekku	High
Fine Young Cannibals	Valle yuva nara-bakshakaru	High
FireHouse	Benkimane	Low
Fools Garden	Huchura udhyanavana	Medium
FourPlay	Nalaku Jana Aadodhu	High
Garbage	Kachada	Low
Gipsy Kings	Lambadi Raja	Killer
Go West	Paschima Hogi	Medium
GodSmack	Devuru Kapala	Medium

The good news is 2 pups got adopted.. The bad news is that lil EyeGone (yes! That’s what they call her! I found it a cynical pun on Igor from young Frankenstein at first, but the name grew on me.. besides like Ajay says, the first step to solving a problem is to make a joke out of it.) is still up for grabs! So if you have space in your home and heart and have the time, do adopt her.. She’s the most adorable creature you’d ever have seen and with an eye-patch, she’ll give that dog from Beethoven a run for his money.. very cuddly and fell asleep in my arms in 2 mins flat.. Toodle-doo for now!

 

Here's my Story...

 

"I was found on Bannerghatta Road, bundled up in a gunny bag dumped in a garbage can. A little boy found me and called up Krupa Helpline. When they came to rescue me, one of my eyeballs had popped out and my eye was swollen. Yes, someone had hurt me very much. Krupa Volunteers took me to their place and operated my eye. I have only one eye now, but I can still see this world and a few wonderful people like you. Will you give me a place in your home and your heart?"

 

 

Krupa Loving Animals, a city-based NGO, is holding a Pet Adoption Camp at the Govt. Higher Primary School, next to Bangalore Dairy, this Sunday, the 23^rd of October 2005. You can find this puppy, and many others ready to become a part of your family. Please note that all the puppies for adoption would be mongrels and not pure breeds. This is being done to encourage families to recognize, learn and appreciate the importance of Indian dogs and how they would make loving and faithful companions.

 

If you are interested in adopting a puppy, please register with Krupa, either by coming to their office in person or giving them a call:

Krupa Loving Animals

Dasappa Maternity Home Complex

N R Road,

Bangalore –560 002

Landline: 22224541

Mobile: 98451-71495

There will be a pre-adoption check by Krupa Volunteers to ensure that the environment, into which the puppy gets adopted into, is suitable.

 

Pet Adoption Camp - When and Where:

23^rd October 2005, Sunday

9:30am to 1:30pm

 

Govt. Higher Primary School,

Dairy Colony,

Hosur Road,

Bangalore – 560029

 

Directions: While travelling on Hosur Road, from Dairy Circle Fly over towards Koramangala, take first left (private-road between Bangalore Dairy Building and Oracle/ Hutch Building). Take first right that comes on that road. At the end of this road is the school
Courtesy: Sharada

 

Stan Weinstein dedicates this book to his wife – his best investment and his two daughters, his best dividends : D. And that’s not all that’s good about the book!

 

My quotes:

 

When god closes a window, he’s probably shutting down pretty soon.

Sure an idea is worth a lot – Ask the guy who coined money.

 

PJ for the day:

 

What does a bread Iyengar call his wife?

Honey Bun ;p.

 

What does she call him?

Her butter half.

There comes a time in every man’s life when he has to stand up for what he believes in. Women have to do it on a daily basis.

I have found this to be very true in my own life.
Primarily because
1. Women have no mob mentality. Therefore, we need to fend for self.
2. Men hang around more in places and in number where their majority prevails.

Point I have no clue how to arrive at and am still making: Hypocrisy and niceties just aren’t worth the effort.

Scenario1: You are walking down a narrow aisle in the office. You see person approaching from the opposite direction. You smile and look inquisitive as to whether the person is going to move left or right. Person reflects expressions. You both move left. You both move right. You both laugh.

Scenario1: You are walking down a narrow aisle in the office. You see person approaching from the opposite direction. You pretend person doesn’t exist. Continue to move. Person picks a crash avoidance mechanism and sticks to it. No one laughs, but both happy.

 

L?

 

 

J.

A spike through the moving average,
An unexpected ride in a horse drawn carriage.
You never know your good friends when you meet them first..
Life is just one serendipitous burst.

But pray tell me -
Does it qualify as serendipity..
When you step on something squishy..
And you look down with dread to see -
A Gulmohur fallen from a tree!

Then there’s this part where I'm finding rhyme..
When I least expect it and time after time!
Hmm.. lemmie see if I can up the tempo…
Nope.. Tough luck.

You can tell one is totally deprived of a sense of humour when one blogs about it.. Yes! I confess! Like Chandler from friends, I too have lost my powers.. Although I do not see any superfluous physiological changes, there’s this nagging doubt at the back of my mind (if there be such a thing) that my parents went and got my lobotomy done when I was asleep the other day.  But as wise men say, only fools rush in, you never miss anything you’ve never known you’ve had.

 

Ok.. so I was reminiscing about how my jokes go unappreciated sometimes.. Imagine – you're in the team meeting – timed strategically post lunch – everyone’s got a cup of extra strong coffee – except one guy who thinks he can make it through without that extra caffeine..  And sure enough, the PM asks him to drive the meeting.. “How come I have to drive?”.. “Don’t drink and drive!” I offer, hoping to break the indolence… And it goes unnoticed.. Just like the time RD did not buy my joke.. So one actually begins to think one is burdening society with something she considers a sense of humour and tries to thwart it, when all of a sudden it occurs to her that it is what keeps her going when

• there’s no one to talk to
• no sidie table graffiti to read
• no stray animals to feed

 

A good sense of humour sure helps me countenance my Amul chocolate complex (I’m too young to get married, to old to use this line.. But I think I’m just right for Amul chocolate)

 

I chanced upon this book by Sri Sri Sri Ravishankar.. “God  loves fun” (in which he basically asks you to do the world a favour  and shut up) and I got thinking.. If She loves it, why can’t we?

Uhhh… life's been so rough lately.. 3 accidents in 2 weeks – but kinda like my limp.. But I’m feeling almost as good as new now..
So what does one do on a bed ridden day?
1. Two time a movie like the hours with the day’s newspaper.
2. Count her blessings.. Idle minds aren’t the devils workshops after all..
3. Send happy ganesh chathurthi messages to hutch friends left right and centre- This conversation ensued after one such forward
Niru: “Hey, this is cute gube! You should put it on ur blog.”
Me: “Alva? I kinda like the way it rhymes!”
Niru: “Rightu!”
So Nir, this one’s for you – Just remember – Out of mind(T) is not out of sightu… lets meet up sometime.(Smith – thanks for sending it.)

“Come O bulky stomach GANAPATHI,
Son of Shiva and Parvathi,
Riding on a ratu,
Belting a serpentu,
Having a face that resembles an elephantu!
Happy Ganesh Chathurthi.”

 

I’ve been wanting to make this post all week.. finally found the time today!

 

Farmer, farmer, put away that DDT,..

Don’t care about the spots on the apples – just spare me the birds and the bees.

-         Bob Dylan (The only man who can articulate, rhyme, play the harmonica, guitar and be profound all at once.)

 

Today I am very happy! I have found my friends – They are all in my head

-         Kurt Cobain (The guy who couldn’t even kill himself right)

 

I remember long ago – Never to walk in anyone’s shadow. If I fail, if I succeed – at least I live as I believe.

                        -     Whitney Houston (Nice disclaimer) 

 

You’ve got to know when to hold on, know when to fold on, know when to walk away, know when to run.. You never count your money – when you’re sitting at the table there’d be time enough for counting, when the deal is done.

-         Kenny Rogers (With a voice like that, who needs anything else)

 

If my life is for rent – And I don’t learn to buy… Well I deserve nothing more than I get.. And nothing I have is truly mine.

                        -           Dido (Faithless sister.. Can totally identify with this song – so many spoken and unspoken sentiments)

 

If I stop lying, Ill just disappoint you.

-         Robbie Williams (Lesser said the better)

 

Did you miss me like I missed me at your home last night?

-         Jim Reeves (Jilted and loving it)

 

So slip the chain and I’m off again,  you find me everywhere! ‘coz I’m a Rover

-         Ian Anderson (Definitely did not invent the seed drill)

 

I have my books, and my poetry to protect me.. I’m shielded in my armor.. I have no need for friendship, friendship causes pain.. It’s laughter and its loving I disdain.

-     Simon and Garfuncle (My favourites.. It’s a pity they broke up so soon – I don’t buy this song though)

 

I know the genre is different.. but since I’m talking about words that mean something to me, I’ve always liked the message Kuvempu has conveyed in Anandamaya ee Jagahrudaya  where he says god is like a mother bird – She pushes us off the branch to make us learn how to fly.. But if we don’t, she’ll always swoop in and save us..

 

Have a nice weekend.

 

She was on her way back home from the discourse … “It is not your job to change the world. You can only change yourself… Look within” The master had said.. And she did.. And as she tried her best to thwart the overriding emotions of guilt and insecurity it had spawned, she clicked on the wipers. She let her mind drift.. “Every mistake I’ve ever made has been rehashed and then replayed.. ‘cause I got lost along the way, on the road to Mandalay” the radio blared.. “How odd!” she mused “That something so melancholic should have such a cheery tune”.

 

As the rain came down in sheets, she turned the wipers up a notch. But her vision remained unclear. She hurriedly wiped the fog that had begun to form off the windshield.. Still no luck.. Everything around her seemed like a blur of lights on the noisy night streets… It was only when a lone tear inched its way down her cheek did she realize what she had to do to fix the haze.. She quickly reached for the box of tissues on the dashboard and dabbed one on her eye.. But it was all too late – for the haze had begun to turn red and all she could feel was a warm trickle down her forehead.. “If only” she thought “If only I had(n’t) looked within….”

#1 You wear T-shirts with your own picture on them.

#2 You take photographs of yourself and get them framed and give it to friends as birthday gifts.

#3 You create a wiki page about yourself.

#4 You are an ‘I’ specialist – The word I figures in every second line of your speech.

#5 You put up pictures of yourself in flamboyant colours in your cubicle.. Capturing the true you ;) in no special place at no special time – they just remind you of… well you ;).

#6 You create a trivia quiz about yourself and ask all your friends to take it. You decide who is your best friend based on its result.

Nice day today.. HAPPY 58th YEAR OF INDIAN INDEPENDENCE.. Sorry I couldn’t put this post up yesterday.. But my PC just wont boot.

I read this article in Deccan Herald where Dr Sita Bathija had shared her experiences of India’s freedom struggle.. It’s amazing how someone who has seen so much bloodshed had come to be responsible for creating/saving so many lives including my own.. I couldn’t find the article on the online edition but if you get your hands on a DH, do read it.

Talking about doctors, we had trouble finding a good family doctor for a long long time after our losing our old doctor to cancer ….Today, by accident (literally) I found one.. Quite amazing how I have escaped by just a few scratches when my bike is so badly battered.. It’s things like these, surprisingly, that jolt me into seeing the miracles in my every day life!